So, Boiling Springs Resort (BSR) is not your typical campground. But you’re bored with those, right? That’s why you’re checking out our place. Here’s what you need to know.
Washed away by the terrible flood of 2017, it’s been slow to rebuild the entire campground at the same time. We saved the pool, but the park still is missing many of its former features, most notably, the old General Store, where the old landline phone was.
The phone number is still 573-674-3488, but we use cells, now, and, of course, they don’t work well out here in the woods. So the first thing to know is, don’t try to call us on the phone.
If you do call, leave a voicemail so we can call you back. Or message us on our Boiling Springs Resort Facebook page; that seems to work pretty well. Instagram. You can email us at email@example.com.
There’s a nice lady we employ to answer the phone during the high season, but the rest of the time it’s just me and my wife, Jen, answering the phone. Ok, it’s really just Jen; my phone hardly ever gets a signal.
But that’s what makes this place nice. You can justifiably turn off your phone here and get away from things. Get away from those EM fields. Your kids’ phones won’t work, either, so they might actually talk to you for a while. A lot of people enjoy that.
There’s Free Wifi at Camp, If You Get Desperate.
Ok, so since you can’t get us on the phone, the next thing people try is visiting in person. And sometimes, that works, but let me give you some pointers.
Don’t Listen To Your GPS
There’s directions on our website, boilingspringsresort.com. Follow them. If your phone says anything other than HWY BB, ignore it. When you run out of pavement on BB, back up because you just missed our driveway. There’s a standing canoe there, and a big sign that reads Boiling Springs Resort.
I may be driving around the place in a something that’s made by John Deere. If I’m mowing, don’t bother me. I’m probably just going to ask Jen anyway, so skip the middleman.
Ok, How Do I Find Jen?
She’ll be working in her office up the hill. If you have a reservation, you’ve probably already been texting with her. Text Jen that you arrived, and she will be right down. Or try the Facebook thing again.
Or just make yourselves comfortable. Pick a campsite you like. Go see the Spring. We’ll be back around soon. If you see a 4WD Ford van with a bunch of canoes, that’s probably us, just flag us down. Could be an old Chevy, you never know. I like old Chevy vans, and am open to trades. Just throwin’ that out there.
Please don’t bother the neighbors. Our house isn’t far away but it’s not one you can find on the paved road. Anyhow, the neighbors have enough to keep up with without you interrupting them all the time. Try texting again.
Now that You’re Checked In
No, as I mentioned earlier, there’s no store right now. We started building The New Store, but we ran out of project money, so it’s not finished. We sell ice and firewood, so don’t bring that stuff.
Next season there’ll be a $45 BYOF fee. Build-The-New-Store money doesn’t just appear out of the ether, you know. If you want to speed up the pace of reconstruction, remember that gratuities are greatly appreciated.
Park like you’ve Always Wanted To
The boundaries of our RV sites are loosely defined. So long as the campers next to you have room to set up their camp their way, we don’t have a lot of rules about how you park your RV.
Park diagonal, park awning-to-awning, pull through, pitch tents too, if there’s no one nearby, spread out – we want you to enjoy our camp and feel at home at Boiling Springs Resort. Be creative. But don’t run over the sewer hook ups or back into the water hydrants.
I’m not doing emergency plumbing in the dark of night when all the supply stores are closed. I’ll just turn off the water main and tell the whole camp you’re to blame. Enjoy your evening with everyone whose vacation you just ruined. NO REFUNDS.
The main rule we have is Don’t Break Stuff. That one’s pretty obvious, and you should have expected it. The most important rule is No Complaining. Other than in this article, it’s an unwritten rule. But don’t be surprised if I enforce it by ignoring you.
BTW, We Run Float Trips
We’re proud to be outfitters and of our luxury livery. The core is made up of the industry standard Osagian 17s, but more than half of our fleet are new-model 16-foot Old Town canoes. Specially selected for this river, these canoes have a wide beam, a center keel, stabilizing chines, and backrests on the seats. That’s right, canoes with backrests. The kayaks have padded seats with padded backrests.
We also have sit-on-top kayaks, and fishing models in both styles and a variety of lengths. And, of course, I have a private stock of specialty boats and gear for the discerning paddler. We also run tubes.
There are no rafts. Do not ask for a raft, we don’t want your kind here. This is a for-families-with-children kind of river, not a bank-to-bank inflatables river for the extremely inebriated. I can’t emphasize that enough: rafty people don’t belong on this river. Try the Niangua.
We also rent gear like paddles and PFDs. We have youth sizes and a few PFDs for dogs. Seriously, they make those. We keep litter bags outside if you need one – they’re free.
No, In This Case BYOB Stands For Bring Your Own Boat
We run shuttles of all kinds. Your boats. Boats with our boats. Your vehicle. You. If there’s something you want to float on the Big Piney, and that something doesn’t have a motor and is not a raft, we will help you do it. We also shuttle guests to and from Piney River Brewing Co., the local, award-winning craft brewery.
We’re Not Just Rebuilding, We’re Expanding
Boiling Springs Resort have all new utilities in the ground, two new cabins on the hillside, and one super cabin that will be available soon. All of our cabins have air conditioning and ceiling fans, queen size beds, full showers, furnished living areas, and fully-equipped kitchenettes with refrigerators and other appliances.
Your rental includes a picnic table, outdoor trash barrel, charcoal grill, and fire ring. Firewood and ice are sold separately. Please inquire about specialty items such as playpens or changing tables.
The Really Big Cabin is off of the main grounds and has a private drive and covered parking. Inside is a fully equipped kitchen with side-by-side refrigerator, dishwasher, glass-top range/oven, large microwave, and countertop appliances such as a Keurig coffeemaker.
The spacious living area is fully furnished, and has a large-screen TV and media system capable of connecting to your online accounts such as Netflix, AppleTV, or Hulu. We have a small library of DVDs available to rent.
The Really Big Cabin will sleep six in this fresh and bright 2BR/2BA, with walk-in shower and Jacuzzi tub built for two. Let the kids run in the fenced play yard while you sit a spell on the covered porch under the hanging outdoor fans. Enjoy a hot afternoon taking a cool walk through our shaded forest trail.
There’s tent camping, too. Pretty much everywhere.
Boiling Springs Resort Cater to Small Groups, Not Just Large Ones
Boiling Springs Resort welcome groups of all sizes, but we try to specialize in giving focused attention. We try to minimize wait times, maximize fun times, and cater to the individual needs of our guests. When you’re home with us, we treat you like family. So bring your Scout group, your bachelor/bachelorette party, your solo tent, your dog. Oh, yeah, we’re pet-friendly, too.
While I enjoy a certain curmudgeonliness due to advancing age, the wife and the staff are very friendly, and cater to most whims. When you arrive at Boiling Springs Resort, you’re treated like family and we welcome you home.
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